Your child is crying in a restaurant, and the quickest route to peace is the phone in your pocket.
Every parent has done it, and nobody feels wonderful about it afterwards.
How much is too much?
The usual medical advice is no screens at all before the age of two.
Between two and five, roughly an hour a day of decent content is the limit most doctors suggest.
After that it stops being about the clock and starts being about what the screen is replacing.
Sleep, play, meals and conversation come first, and screens get whatever is left over.
What does too much screen time actually do?
The biggest cost is sleep.
For years we blamed blue light, which is why every phone now has Night Shift or Night Light built in.
Warmer colours help a little, but the real trouble is that an exciting video keeps a child wide awake long after the tablet is put down.
The second cost is movement, because a child on a tablet is not running around.
The third is patience.
Games are built to reward you every few minutes, and real life is simply not that quick.
A child used to that pace finds homework and carrom unbearably slow.
How do I limit it?
Use the tools already sitting on the device, because they are free and they do not argue back.
On an iPhone or iPad, go to Settings -> Screen Time and set up Downtime and App Limits.
On Android, install Google Family Link and link your child's account to yours.
For younger children, YouTube Kids has a timer that ends the session for you.
Then set the household rules, and keep them boringly simple.
- Agree the limit before you hand over the device, not during the tantrum.
- Homework first, then the tablet.
- No devices at the dining table, for anybody.
- Nothing with a screen in the last hour before bed.
- Keep the chargers outside the bedroom.
Do the rules apply to me too?
Yes, and that is the uncomfortable bit.
No child follows a rule they watch their parents break at dinner.
If your phone stays in your pocket through the meal, the rule mostly enforces itself.
One more thing worth knowing: Indian law now expects apps to take a parent's consent before collecting data on a child.
So set your child up with a proper child account instead of handing over your own.
Things to Remember
- Set up Screen Time on iPhone, or Family Link on Android, this week.
- Write the house rules down and stick them on the fridge.
- Judge the limit by what the screen is replacing, not only by the clock.
- Give your child a child account, never your own.
- Follow every rule yourself, because that is what makes it stick.