Somewhere on the internet there are photos of your child from the day they were born.
They did not choose a single one of them.
That is easy to miss in all the love and the excitement, and it is worth sitting with for a minute.
What did they never actually agree to?
Being posted since day one, before they could speak.
Their tears, their fears and their worst moments, shared.
A fully public life they did not choose.
Becoming "content" for an audience.
Their face earning likes, follows or money.
By the time many kids understand what the internet is, hundreds of photos of them are already on it.
Their name, their face, their whole childhood โ all decided by somebody else.
Some grow up genuinely uncomfortable about it.
So how do I give them a say?
Start asking, as soon as they are old enough to understand the question.
Let them veto any photo, no questions asked and no sulking from you.
Keep their hard and embarrassing moments private by default.
Do not build a "brand" or a channel on your child.
Let them shape their own footprint when they are ready.
Aren't small children too young to decide?
They are too young to weigh up the internet, yes.
They are not too young to be asked.
"Is it okay if I share this?" costs you absolutely nothing to ask.
What it teaches is bigger than the photo โ that their privacy is theirs, and that someone will ask before taking it.
A child who grows up being asked is a child who knows to expect it from everyone else too.
What if I have already posted hundreds?
Nobody starts this with a clean slate, and guilt is not much use here.
Go back on a quiet evening and delete the ones that were never really yours to share.
Tighten the audience on whatever is left.
Then change what happens from today onwards, which is the only part you actually control.
Their story is theirs to tell, and our job is to protect it until they can.
Things to Remember
- Ask before you post, from the age they can understand the question.
- Give them a veto and honour it without argument.
- Keep tears, tantrums and embarrassing moments off the internet entirely.
- Never turn your child into a brand, a channel or an income.
- Clear out old posts you would not put up today.